


As the Days Go By

by JoleneTheMoon



Series: Fast and Loose [4]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Childhood, Found Family, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 13:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14309913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoleneTheMoon/pseuds/JoleneTheMoon
Summary: Kakashi raises a child. Perhaps not in the most ethically sound of ways… or the most gentle, but hey – the kid’s totally safe and sound, right? Right?





	As the Days Go By

**Author's Note:**

> It's a bit Harry Potter-esque at the beginning... but here's some more family fluff for everyone!

At first Naruto had been confused.

 

He’d woken up the morning after being picked up by the weird masked guy in his regular bed at the orphanage.

 

Of course, bed was being a bit generous really. It was just a burlap sack stuffed with hay that had been pushed into the darkest corner of the highest floor. But Naruto was okay with that. It meant that he was more often overlooked and ignored rather than pushed down or sneered at. He’d never actually slept in a real bed anyways, at least that he could remember, so he didn’t know what he was missing out on.

 

But he did wonder what had happened to the masked guy. Perhaps he’d dreamed it. Naruto proceeded to mentally nudge the dream-memory away and continue with his usual routine of trying to find a friend or maybe even a bite to eat, and then hiding from all the people yelling and throwing garbage at him.

 

After a few weeks back at the orphanage, Naruto really was convinced it had just been a dream and the more specific details had faded into his memory. Was the man really wearing a white dog-themed mask? Had a tiny dog really spoken to him? No, that seemed silly. Everyone knew animals didn’t talk outside of the stories Naruto listened to through the crack in the floorboards. And if they did speak, it certainly wouldn’t be to Naruto. After all, no one spoke to Naruto if they didn’t have to. Well, unless they were yelling orders or slurs at him.

 

In fact, at three-and-a-half years old, Naruto was mostly content with his place in life. This was just how it was. He didn’t yet realize that there was such a thing as ‘parents’ to miss. Or that the way he was treated wasn’t how most people were, and certainly wasn’t how children should be treated. He just assumed that this is how all Narutos must live.

 

Then the masked man came back.

 

This time he wasn’t alone, and he appeared to be quite angry. The man with him was of a similar height and had a cat-themed mask on. The dog man told Naruto to gather up his belongings and that they were leaving.

 

Turns out telling the man that he didn’t know what ‘belongings’ meant, and then once it was explained, that no Naruto didn’t actually own anything besides his burlap bed really made the man explode.

 

Naruto was surprised the orphanage had still been standing after they’d left. The apartment they were now standing in seemed a little boring. There was just a couch, a table, and a bookshelf. Well, at least some of the books were orange. Naruto had always liked bright colors.

 

The dog man, who after a long period of deep breathing exercises subtly encouraged by the cat man, introduced himself as Kakashi and stated that he would now be taking care of Naruto. Oh, and that the cat man went by either Yamato or Tenzou depending on the day.

 

Naruto wasn’t sure how to handle the cat man’s multiple names, but he knew just what he wanted to call Kakashi.

 

“Kashi-nii!”

 

Kakashi seemed to pause in taking off his white dog mask and began the deep breathing exercises again while Yamato-Tenzou seemed to be hysterically coughing and holding his hands over his mouth.

 

“Uh, sure kid. I guess you can call me that… Sorry about last time. I wanted to keep you, but circumstances out of my control led to you being put back in that hell hole. This time though – you’ll be staying for good.”

 

The sound of Yamato-Tenzou’s head hitting the wall echoed throughout the minimally furnished room. “You really need to learn how to talk to kids.”

 

Naruto may be confused but he was at least mildly certain that his new Kashi-nii was keeping him. Maybe now Naruto could figure out why the man’s hair stuck up like that?

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

The first time Naruto woke up in his new bed (and oh wasn’t that a surprise, he had an actual bed now! No wonder all the other orphanage kids had looked so happy in the mornings, it was much better than the burlap), he groggily wiped at his eyes and then froze when he realized he wasn’t alone.

 

There was the same dog from his dream! Which at this point Naruto was hoping was an actual memory and that the dog was really going to talk to him again.

 

“Hey pup. Boss left me ‘cause he had a mission he couldn’t escape. There’s some fruit in the kitchen for you.”

 

Naruto hurried to get ready and tried to ignore the small voice in his head that whispered this was all a dream and he was going to wake back up in the orphanage any minute now.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

After the sixtieth time Naruto woke up in his real bed in Kashi-nii’s apartment, he realized this was real and that he’d never have to sleep on burlap again.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Sometimes Kashi-nii was the greatest person ever. He let Naruto pick out his own clothes and even let him skip bath time every so often! But sometimes, Kashi-nii was the worst person ever.

 

“Nuh uh! I don’t wanna eat that! Looks yucky!”

 

“Naruto. You know you need to eat vegetables. We’ve discussed this. And look this one’s purple! It’s eggplant which you know is my favorite. Don’t you want to eat my favorite food ever?” And then Kashi-nii’s lower lip stuck out (as well as it could being hidden by a mask, and isn’t that weird? Luckily Naruto had a habit of just accepting everything and had yet to wonder why there was a mask there in the first place), and his visible eye welled up with tears.

 

“You’re going to make your Kashi-nii cry, Naruto. Why would you hurt my poor damaged heart like this? Oh, the inhumanity!”

 

“No, no! I sorry! I eat it! I will! Even if it’s yucky and a veg-ta-what.”

 

Kashi-nii had better appreciate Naruto’s sacrifices for him. And he’d better get to skip two bath times this week!

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

The first time Kakashi took Naruto into the ninja supply store was best summed up with one word. Nightmare.

 

The kid refused to look at anything even remotely ninja-like for clothes. He just wanted to grab this hideous orange jumpsuit. What the hell was that about? Did Kakashi look like Gai? No, no he most certainly did not. And no pup of his was going to wear a damn jumpsuit. He would never live that down if Naruto was spotted in a jumpsuit… Even if the look on Gai’s face at seeing a miniature version of himself in orange would have been hilarious. No, stand firm Kakashi… even if the mental image is pure gold.

 

Kakashi finally managed to get the wiggly pest into a glaringly bright orange shirt and black shorts. Well… it was halfway decent and at least it was a start. Kakashi figured he could gradually work up to the kid having just some orange stripes on the sleeves or something… Or he could get some orange goggles… If Kakashi could ever manage to actually look at the things without having his sharingan eye tear up and becoming overcome with murderous rage regarding Iwa-nin.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

“Okay, listen here kid. I’m going to run through their names once – and only once. I expect you to remember them and remember how to call on them whenever you need to, okay? And when you’re a bit older, I’ll even get you a pack of your own, okay? Now, there’s Pakkun – who you’ve met before, Bull, Bisuke, Urushi, Akino, Shiba, Uhei, and Guruko. Team – this here is Naruto. He is now your pup. For training today, I’m going to pretend to be an enemy nin and attempt to kidnap him. You’re going to stop me and hide him away, okay? And maybe run a drill to alert Tenzou, yeah. That’s good. You’re going to stop me, hide the pup, and run a message to Tenzou that the pup’s in danger okay?”

 

Naruto met the stares of the assortment of dogs standing besides Kakashi in Training Ground Four with a perplexed look. The pup also seemed to be mouthing the dogs’ names and trying to magically match them to their respective owner without any guidance.

 

“Uh Boss? Don’t you think that’s a bit intense for his first drill?” Pakkun’s words were waved away by Kakashi who was busy tying on a crow-themed ANBU mask, (what? That Uchiha kid wouldn’t even know it was gone, seriously).

 

“No, this’ll be great. It’s good practice. Great introduction for the pup and for all of you, as well as keeping Tenzou on his toes. He’s way too serious all the time.”

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Kakashi spent the next week walking around with a black eye and a swollen nose while Tenzou looked extraordinarily smug whenever he caught someone doing a double-take at the famed Copy Nin.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

When Naruto was five, Kakashi decided target practice could now be done with real weapons. Enough with the silly wooden and rubber junk. The kid needed to learn sometime or how was he going to graduate in the first year of the academy? Exactly. He wouldn’t.

 

“Right. So, here’s your kunai. No, point it the other way. No. No, you hold the handle not the blade. Naruto – we’ve talked about this. Okay, look. If you just pretend like Tenzou isn’t over there mocking me, and just throw one kunai – we’ll get ramen, okay? I’ll even get you two bowls today.”

 

Naruto’s scream of joy could be heard miles away. Tenzou just laughed as the kunai missed all five targets completely and ended up thudding harmlessly to the ground and Kakashi rubbed his palms against his face.

 

What did he do to deserve such treatment? Okay, never mind. His whole thing was being a murderous assassin and stealing people’s personal jutsu. Best not to open that Pandora’s box. Kakashi probably deserved worse.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Most of the time Kakashi picked Naruto up and dropped him off at school perfectly on time (Kakashi strictly believed there is a time and place for messing with people’s minds, just not when it concerned his pup), but ANBU had specifically requested Hound’s presence on their latest mission so it was just Naruto and Pakkun today.

 

“Oh, he’s so cute, Naruto! When did you get a pug?” Sakura bent down to pet Pakkun who looked extremely happy with the attention.

 

“Uh I didn’t really ‘get’ him. He’s one of Kashi-nii’s epic teammates! He’s got a whole pack and one day I’m gonna have a ninken pack too!”

 

“That’s so cool! Hey, you should introduce him to Akamaru! Hey Kiba, come here!”

 

“Pup, you should definitely keep her. I can tell good people. Plus, we use the same shampoo, so you know she’s cool.”

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Mizuki was starting to get irritated. Every other parent had come and gone, but oh no, not the demon container’s guardian. Mizuki would almost think the beast had invented the man, except that Iruka claimed to have met him when he’d dropped the monster off one day.

 

He was going to wait approximately fifteen more minutes and that was it. It was already 1600 and Mizuki was just about done with watching the stupid demon giggle to himself while watching the clock.

 

“Naruto-kun, when exactly did you say your guardian would be here?”

 

“Well, he said he’d be here at 1400 but he is _really_ busy. He is a really awesome kick ass ninja, ya know!”

 

“Naruto-kun… we’ve talked about your language before. No swearing. Ninjas are not vulgar, it reflects badly on the village and to our clientele.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

 

At 1615, just as Mizuki was packing up his belongings and pondering ways to kick the demon out of his classroom, the Copy Nin walked in.

 

“Oh Hatake-san, how can I help you?”

 

“Maa, are you the kid’s sensei? Good. I’ve been meaning to speak with you about his taijutsu forms and how apparently you seem to think his stance needs work.” Kakashi’s single eye narrowed and his chakra flared.

 

Mizuki began to realize just how screwed he was. Why hadn’t Iruka told him the beast’s guardian was Hatake fucking Kakashi?!


End file.
